SHAI TAMAYO
Feb. 2000
OH, THE TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE
By shai sangco tamayo
It only takes seven seconds for Mr. Browser to click away from or go on clicking towards you/your company/your product, said the movie-good-looks guy in an impeccably tailored grey suit, a guru for business and market development in Asia Pacific for a leading net-system software. Ergo, marketing strategies have to be calculated at lightning pace. Throw away all you learned at business school, added this amiable vanguard of the WorldWide Mesh. Businesses will inevitably have to seek new models; it's a whole new ballgame.
I don't know how many of the dry-cleaned, cellphone-infected, coffeed-out yup-yup-yuppie audience were as awestruck as I at the forecast on the imminent tidal web-er, wave of internetization coming to take us away into a world of clicking relationships. Better get your boat ready lest that wave drowns you, said he. Aurgh! The tomorrow sci-fi warned us about is right at our doorstep, and I'm not yet dressed!
Then the soft-spoken CRM (Customer Relationship Management) lady honcho from Singapore foretold the one-click shop no further than your desktop that will program your vacation to "Zee-boo" to absolute perfection. Say good-bye to the zillion people you usually call to get your tickets confirmed, your hotel booked, your flight schedule confirmed, your tours routed, you car rented. Just a click, or at most 5. Yes, my dear audience, we are plunging head-on towards a stress-free society! Go ahead, sip your Cappuccino, have a hot shower and a little chismis on the side because some machines will be doing the stressing for you. And, if typhoon Uling happens to drop by Cebu on that day of your flight, no worry. Just as you step out of that relaxing shower, the purring contraption on your desktop will ululate a message from your one-click shop saying that your flight, hotel, car rental, tours, etc., have been re-booked already. You may now watch a movie, have a little more chismis, or do more crosswords.
For many hours thereafter, I was stupefied, to put it mildly, at the impending takeover of artificial intelligence. Visions of mall-less streets crowded my mind--who needed stores when a mouse was all we needed to get our groceries, our books, CD's, furniture, houses, and cars, and whoa, even dates-blind or otherwise! 
Ordering clothes through a cold monitor? Hmmmm….. clickable RTW? What about the size problem, mewonders? Cup A, B….? Sports bras. Colors? Sounds like grey, beige, black and white. Did you see Keanu Reeves, Trinity and the gang wearing anything colored in the "Matrix"? Hair? Frou-frou's would be archived at the Met Museum; Trinity's was cropped to the skin, after all. Hair-dyes? Instant sprays. Manicures? Stickers. Make-up? Well, vanity has always been a tough vice to conquer.
I imagined my sister-in-law's travel agency with a "Closed Shop" sign boarded over it, and a larger one above it saying, "BAN VIRUSES FOREVER! Exclusive distributors of computer vaccines". I pictured the sari-sari stores going the way of the long-playing record.
Well, I saw no more traffic, especially with Brother Mike's mass website set up; the air would be free, garbage may be limited to households only. Cold cash would be a rarity with all that clicking and plastic going around for payment; pick-pocketers would all be jobless! But, new businesses would flourish: fake computer vaccines, computer hacking lessons. Lawyers would be overstressed at marriage annulment cases because the defense of defective computers or viruses for rocky alliances will be tough to overrule. I saw parents counseling at websites, doctors net-prescribing…. Scanners would have extra x-ray features anyway. 
Ooops, I saw more people getting brain cancer and other cancer friends of microwaves and radiation. But maybe the scientists will have invented some vaccines for that too. Or, they may combine forces with fashion czars to make radiation-proof designer clothes. They will have to figure new drugs for massive carpal tunnel syndrome, or maybe mouses will be phased out. And, what to do with epidemics of back problems, scurvy, muscular atrophies, strokes--all directly traced to overly sedentary lifestyles, to lack of circulation and vitamin D…… 
Harshly interrupting my reverie was the earsplitting wails of a baby in a stroller. Mama comes rushing to hug her little one, and baby suckles from her in satisfied, silent solace. 
Those thinking engines still couldn't give us food, I figured. We need the earth, we need the sun, we still need some dirt on our hands. After all, we are people with unseen life force running in our veins, not computer chips. People need people. Computers need people. People need God. And that, my friend, makes ALL the difference.

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