"The single
biggest stumbling block to the country's development is the Philippine
Long Distance Telephone Company (PLDT)".
Ex-
DOTC Sec. R. Reyes to writer R Ramos Business World, August
16 2000
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Miraculous photo taken at
EDSA Nov. 4, 2000
| Yet bigger miracle
occurs at newspaper as
Philippine Daily Inquirer lists Manny Pangilinan,
CEO of PLDT, Indonesian-owned crony firm and presidential
pal of President Estrada as the #1 VIP at the massive rally
held at EDSA Nov. 4, 2000 in it's Nov. 5 online issue. Proving
that PLDT's PR groups can perform bigger miracles than just
any church. |
pldt.com webmaster admits giving away
domain names to attract people to his website. Later
on, it turned out that they were all previously taken anyway.
"It was just a ruse I learned from the highest authority
in the land". Besides, it worked for a while. Until,
of course, the people found out that the domain names all
belonged to Sen. Tito Sotto.
The pldt.com homage to the
text messages generation edition ! For
our readers abroad, the current national past time of Pinoys
is sending text messages to one another's cell phones.
That is all Filipinos ever do. As a matter of fact,
they are right now trying to text Erap into resigning.
Which will be extremely difficult to do becuase they are texting
in English.
How many have you sent?
These have been culled from the messages going around people's
personal cell phones as well as Malacanang. It is quite
possible that some of his more jealous "special friends"
are responsible for sending a few of these. (Messages
from PLDT/SMART cell phones are not included as they may be
censored be prohibited by the Crony company, which is close
to Erap.) Scroll down.
I hate texting. Give
me the regular November
4 issue.
Waiver: Any
resemblance to parties living, dead, resigned or still in
office is impossible as we are just making this up as we go
along. Much in the same manner he is running the government.
Most instances are deemed coincidental, accidental, or an
Act of God. Ownership of material may not be attributed
to the original writers as authorship of such work is impossible
to trace. But most credit goes to Erap, without whom there
would be no text jokes.
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THE TALE of the TEXT
Erap: Before the end of my term, I guarantee that
the dollar-peso exchange rate will be one to one......
One dollar is to one kilo of peso.
##
Q: Bakit lahat ng anak ni Erap ay sa
letter J
nagsisimula ang pangalan?
A: Kasi lahat sila'y anak ng ...... jueteng.
##
Q: Bakit ayaw mag resign ni Erap?
A: Kasi hindi niya alam kung kanino iaadress ang
resignation letter niya.
##
As a boy, Erap went to school everyday
with his dog.
But later they had to separate and Erap went to school alone.
Why? The dog graduated.
##
Payo daw ni Bro. Mike kay Erap - "Magsisi
ka." Ang ginawa ni Erap. Sinisi niya si Ramos, sinisi
niya si Almonte, sinisiniya si Cory, sinisi niya si Sin, etc.
##
ERAP is good. Mabuhay si Erap. Forward this message
to 9 friends in 3 days & you will lose 9 friends.
Do not ignore.This is true!!!
##
News Flash: Erap orders PAGCOR to stop
operations starting today (20 Oct). Pero naisulat niya sa
sa memo ay NAPOCOR kaya eto, Blackout!
##
Q: How does Erap say "F*** You All" to the Filipino
people in Tagalog?
A: Malinis ang aking konsensiya . . .
##
Describe Erap:... Lasenggo, sugarol,
mataba, tamad,
magnanakaw, bobo, babaero,
sakang maglakad, hoodlum, mayabang, utak ipis.
Describe Jinggoy: Just add pangit.
##
Q: Bakit palaging galit si Miriam pag nagtatanong sasenate
hearing?
A: Dahil kulang sa dilig. Ang init ng katawan ay inilalabas
na lang sa galit.
##
News Flash: Puno confirmed that Erap
is going to
resign as President.
Yes, it was confirmed by Rico Puno that Erap will
resign as President ofthe Nora Aunor's Fans Club.
##
News Flash #3: Please watch tonight on TV: Dong Puno
. . . LIED!
##
News Flash: Pres. Erap Impeached.
Ayon sa mga kinauukulan, Erap was not only
impeached.He was also in red,in blue, in green, in yellow
and sometimes in black.
##
News Flash: Vatican warned Sin that he will go to
hell while Erap will go to heaven coz when Sin talks, people
sleep. But when Erap talks the entire nation prays.
##
The Filipino people should be thankful
because ourpresident is close to the Lord. Jueteng Lord, Gambling
Lord, Drug Lord. Sana kunin na siya ni Lord.
##
Similarity of Marcos and Erap:
Both have AIDS.
Marcos' AIDS: Acquired Income Deposited inSwitzerland
Erap's AIDS: Acquired Income Delivered by Singson.
##
Q:If you were in an island with Atong
Ang, Chavit
Singson and Erap andyou have a gun with only two bullets ,
what would you do?
A:Shoot Erap twice.
##
Jinggoy and Erap in a museum. (Jinggoy looking at a mummy)
Jinggoy: Dad, what's the meaning of 1232 B.C.?
Erap: Anak, iyan ang plate number ng nakabangga sa
kanya.
##
Sa Hapon ang ibig sabihin ng DA ay tanga.
Ang medyo tanga - HonDA
Ang mas tanga- MazDA
At ang pinakatanga - EstraDA
##
Meaning of ERAP:
Erap Resign Para Angat ang Pinoy
Erap Resign Awa ka sa Pilipinas
Erap Resign Ala na kaming Pasensiya
Erap Resign Ayaw namin ng Palpak
##
Erap Wives:
LOI: Lady Often Insulted
GUIA: Girl Using Intimacy for Advantage
LAARNI: Lamang sa Ari-Arian kaya No Imik
Q: If Loi is First Lady, ano naman si Guia?
A: Lady in jueteng.
Q: Ano naman si Jinggoy?
A: Anak ng jueteng.
Q: Ano naman si Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo?
A: Jueteng and hoping.
Q: Sino ang anak ng jueteng?
A: Si Atong Ang.
Q: Sino ang ama ng jueteng?
A: Si Erap.
##
Q:Sino ang mas magaling, ang mga La Sallista o ang
mga Atenista?
A:Ang La Sallista Expedition lang ang ninanakaw,
ang Atenista P20M kada buwan.
##
Di na kayo naawa kay Erap. Di na kayo
nahiya. Wala
nakayong nakitanglokohin kungdi siya. Di ba ninyo alam na
hulog siya ng langit? Una nga lang ang ulo kaya tanga.
##
Erap: Pati ako naChavit na sa jueteng.
Atong: Sabi ko na nga ba. Chavit will Singsoon.
Erap: They are now jueteng for my resignation. It's
very difficult.
##
Aiza - IQ - 135 - Promil user till age 5
Ryan - IQ - 140 - Promil user till age 7
Jinggoy - IQ unstable, Promil overdose
Erap - Low IQ, Promil user till now. Still no
progress.
##
Erap in different languages:
Japanese:Haritanga
Chinese:Tataijueteng
Arabian:Ali Bobo
African:Akimpa Yola
German:Dapat Ousten
French: Vo vou
Indian: Talsikh Nhatin
##
Learn more Japanese:
You are a liar: Dongpunokane?
Masyado kang sipsip: Miriamkane?
Lasengo, sugarol, mataba, magnanakaw, bobo, etc.:
Erapkane?
##
Erap flirting with Imelda Marcos:
Erap: Heard your husband had a very small penis. Why
don't you try mine,it's big.
Imelda: No thanks, small as it was, it was much
bigger than your brain.
##
Q:Ano ang pagkakaiba ni Hudas at ni Erap?
A:Si Hudas minabuting magbigti dahil sa
pagkakamali.Si Erap minabuting
manatili dahil sa salapi.
##
Jude:Di totoong jueteng lord
ang Papa ko! Mabuti
siyang tao. Di siya sugarol at lalong di babaero. Please lang,
tigilan nyona ang Papa ko. Inosente talaga si Dranreb.
##
Satan appeared to Erap.
Satan: I have a proposal. You will finish your term
butin return I want your soul.
Erap: Teka muna, what's the catch?
##
Loi: Mahal, Ikinuha kita ng insurance.
Erap: Anong klase, life insurance?
Loi:Fire insurance, dahil doon ang punta mo pag
namatay ka.
##
Q: Ano ang special feature ng cell phone ni Erap?
A: Meron itong "call jueteng."
##
La Salle: Ang mga graduates namin
Congressmen!
UP: Ang mga graduates namin Senador!
Ateneo: Ang kick out pa lang namin Presidente na, at pinaka
bobo pa namin iyan!
##
Madam Auring' Text Forecast:
Good news: Erap will resign.
Bad news: Jinggoy will become President.
Worst news: Jude will become First Lady.
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Past
issues
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| **WARNING
!! Not a single Word or graphic image on this entire
site may be copied or reprinted without the author's written
permission if you or anyone you know are connected in any
way with the Philippine Long Distance Telephone Company,
its lawyers and other similarly offensive members of a bottom-feeding
species. ALL others anywhere else around the globe and universe
please feel free. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 1998-2000
by www.pldt.com
Entering the site will be taken as your consent to abide
by this agreement. |
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100%
PURE Pinoy- UNADULTERATED ANGST, PAIN, HORROR, TEARS,
RUMORS, LAUGHTER and LIES FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY OR YOUR
MONEY BACK.
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online
signature campaign
for erap to resign
Statement
of the Kongreso ng Mamamayang Pilipino
(here)
LINKS TO
ERAP SITES!!
Featuring the Singson Tapes
(Real Audio)
pldt.com's little contribution
to Filipinos and the www:
Google
Web Directory rates pldt.com as one of Top Fifty Satire Web
Sites among over 256,000 satire sites on the web. We think that's cool.
NOMINATED !
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