Top 10 things for the caretaker committee to do while Erap’s away:

10. Four little words: President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. 9. Tell Prod Laquian the coast is clear for picking up remaining laundry. 8. Memo for security detail at Camp Crame—Demand for ID. By Order of: Management. 7. Rename Narciso Ramos Highway MILF Party Zone. 6. Send unambiguous message to Abu Sayyaf: Keep hostage count down to 50 . . . OR ELSE. 5. Three little words: President Dong Puno. 4. Go back in time and reverse decision to deport Asi Taulava back to Tonga. Send Marcoses instead. 3. Three little words: President Danding Cojuangco.  2. Find good copy of Asiong Salonga for when the Cabinet roadshow actually gets back on track. 1. Cancel PLDT franchise, award instead to pldt.com. home to pldt.com