Recipes for Learning by Moje Ramos-Aquino Oct 18, 2000 Philippine Daily Inquirer Are your values contagious? IN this time and clime, let me share with you a quotation from Sir George Pickering: "Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be counted counts." There is a community of squatters right at the back of my house. I talked to them about the news lately and asked them about their sentiments. Surprisingly, they are unmoved and simply dismiss this "jueteng" issue as "malas niya, nabisto siya." (It is his bad luck that he was discovered.) I strongly suggest that, as adults, we discuss this issue among ourselves and that we talk to our young ones, our children, nieces and nephews and explain the meaning of what's happening in terms of important values we need to keep or reject. Everything is talked about in general terms and in reference to graft and corruption in government and moral ascendancy of leaders. But the details of how such negative events erode our core values are swept under the rag. Quotes Let us discuss the effects of this current event and internalize the lessons we can learn from it to guide whatever actions we need to take. My inputs to your discussions are these quotations: Thomas H. Huxley: "It is not who is right but what is right that is important." Confucius: "Men do not stumble over mountains, but over mole hills." Mark Twain: "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." Albert Einstein: "We are or we become those things which we repeatedly do." Walter Bagehot: "Strong beliefs win strong men, and them make them stronger." Henry David Thoreau: "It is truly said that a corporation (or government) has no conscience; but a corporation (or government) of conscientious men is a corporation (or government) with a conscience." Vigilance Let us be vigilant, lest again, as in martial law days, we are lulled into complacency and moral atrophy and lose the good values that define us as a people and as individuals. What lessons do we learn from this "jueteng" issue? As a nation and as individuals, what are the effects of this crisis to our moral fiber? What values do we need to fortify and use more? How should we act and live on them? What values do we need to junk right now? What are we good at? What should we do better? What shall we leave to our children when we, the elders and leaders of today, are gone? What could we do as individuals and as communities now? Tomorrow? The events of recent times have been a test of our values as a nation and as individuals. Principles On a brighter note, happiness is knowing that my son, Ronwaldo Emmanuel, is ready to stand by his principles and sacrifice some budding friendships. This semester, Ronjie is teaching at Adamson University and I am witness to how he works very hard to be a good teacher and help his students become engineers. He meticulously writes his lesson plans, updates his class records everyday, and prepares and checks exams conscientiously. He also gives pep talks to his class, which he scripts and practices before me. He even missed his brother's graduation just to proctor his students' exams. He recently graduated from UP and was #2 in last May's Board exams for Civil Engineers. A number of his students have been calling him to appeal for passing or better grades. Ronjie says that he has done everything he could, short of spoon-feeding them with lessons and answers to exams, to help his students with their lessons and pass the course the "right way." He makes sure that he does his lectures in both English and Filipino for better understanding. He solicits their feedback and checks for understanding. After exams, he gives them feedback on their grades and what to do in order to make better grades. He says he even makes exam questions that are easy to answer, if they only study their lessons. Yet, now they want him to abandon all his efforts and simply give them passing grades. How pathetic. Standards I told him that he might be using UP standards for Adamson students. Ronjie replied that there is no such thing as UP or Adamson standards. There should only be one standard. UP and Adamson graduates will take the same Licensure Exams given by the Professional Regulation Commission. They will both practice their engineering profession and build together buildings or roads or dams or whatever engineers are tasked to do. My son asked me in return: "Ma, do you want me to pass them now and let them suffer later by not passing the board exams and not having solid foundation in engineering basics? I don't want them to end up as clerks later. I have an obligation to teach them well and to give them the grades they worked for." Amen. Speaking of values, I am proud of you my son. Unfortunately, he is bent on pursuing his engineer profession and will quit teaching. Values clarification With that, let us go back to our Workshop on Visioning and Valuing, to you and your own values. Last week we had two exercises on values clarifications, "What's In Your Wallet" and "Values Worksheet." Now look at your Wallet List and Values Worksheet, you will note that what you have identified as your values are actually your values indicators, such as: goals or purposes, aspirations, attitudes, interests, feelings, beliefs and conviction, activities and worries, problems or obstacles. We will yet do a number of such exercises on values clarification. Getting to know all that you can become is a slow and deliberate process. Sidney B. Simon, ED.D. has a lot of exercises in his book, "Meeting Yourself Halfway" that I will share with you. The book was written in 1974, I don't know if it is available in bookstores. Try amazon.com. I have another exercise here for you, another way for you to meet yourself. It is called "Who Are All Those Others and What Are They Doing In My Life?" Exercise This private strategy can help you recognize who influences your values and to what extent. Who are the significant others in your life, and what do they expect of you? What are you willing to give, to commit yourself to privately or publicly. On a piece of paper, draw up a chart something like the one illustrated on this page. Identify real people in each of the categories and write their names or initials inside the blocks. Then list four or five things each of these significant others want you to value. Essentially, what do they count on you for? What activities do you do with them? What demands do they place on you? What do they want you to be, to do, or to think? What do they want you to value? After you have done that, consider the similarities and differences between what the various people in your life want from you. Then, in each block, underline each item that you also want for yourself. Make a list in the "me" block that restates those things you are willing to accept as things you also want for yourself. These are the beliefs to hold dear. And for the ones other want of you that you don't want? Ah, these are the areas of conflict with those who are significant to us. Negotiation is the word in these areas. We may need to say clearly what we want. Or tell them with as much gentleness as possible, 'No.'" Values are contagious-are yours worth catching? (E-mail feedback to moje@PARADIGMSandPARADOXES.zzn.com)